New line "Twattish and pointless"Mayor of London Boris Johnson has announced he is to release a fashion line. The range, entitled simply 'Boris' is set to hit UK stores in time for the Christmas spending boom of this year.
Speaking exclusively to Spastique in an industry press conference yesterday, Johnson announced he was "fresh out of plans for London" and that he wanted to revamp "London" as the centre for fashion in "Europe" to help reverse the current "economic crisis", having gotten the idea from his favorite rap star "Jay Zed".
The Menswear range has been hand designed by Boris himself in Crayon and will feature Blond bowl-cut style horsehair cycle helmets, ties that have been designed to appear skewed, nervous sweat scented aftershave and a face cream that promotes blotchy pigskin and cold sores.
The look has been declared by the man himself to be inspired by his idols, and is said to give the consumer "the endearing appearance of aesthetic imperfection making them seem focused on more pressing issues than their own dress sense" even if they're really just full of shit.
Boris is said to be "chuffed as a button" with the line, and hopes it to be as warmly received as the runaway success of his recent record label 'Boris Beats' which featured signing 'Shmelvis' aka Hull born Trevor Duntup (pictured above).
London Post graduate Adrian Hall said yesterday he would "rather catch a terminal sex virus from a violent bumrapist" than wear it.
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